Comments on: Doing ourselves no favours http://synapses.co.za/favours/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=favours one neuron at a time is better than nothing Mon, 21 May 2012 14:02:40 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Jacqueshttp://synapses.co.za/favours/comment-page-1/#comment-122 Jacques Fri, 17 Jul 2009 04:31:44 +0000 http://synapses.co.za/?p=176#comment-122 Things presumably only become a burden on your conscience if you think you've done something wrong. On my view, you've sometimes done something wrong in telling the truth, and if that's right (and if we can train ourselves to thing this way), the burden on conscience problem falls away. Likewise, if a partner finds out you've withheld the truth, someone who adopts my model (again, in ideal situations) would be just as upset as he or she ever would have been about the infidelity, but not be additionally upset about the withholding truth, as that would have been the right thing to do (or at least an understandable thing to do, under the circumstances). Whatever we do, some alternative could have given rise to a different outcome, that could be better or worse. Part of our job, I think, is to try to make the choices that tend to correlate with positive outcomes for ourselves and others. But generally, think about all this from a abstract point of view - the problems you cite are only problems from within our present moral stance, not from inside the alternative position I'm sketching here. Things presumably only become a burden on your conscience if you think you’ve done something wrong. On my view, you’ve sometimes done something wrong in telling the truth, and if that’s right (and if we can train ourselves to thing this way), the burden on conscience problem falls away. Likewise, if a partner finds out you’ve withheld the truth, someone who adopts my model (again, in ideal situations) would be just as upset as he or she ever would have been about the infidelity, but not be additionally upset about the withholding truth, as that would have been the right thing to do (or at least an understandable thing to do, under the circumstances).

Whatever we do, some alternative could have given rise to a different outcome, that could be better or worse. Part of our job, I think, is to try to make the choices that tend to correlate with positive outcomes for ourselves and others. But generally, think about all this from a abstract point of view – the problems you cite are only problems from within our present moral stance, not from inside the alternative position I’m sketching here.

]]> By: Amyhttp://synapses.co.za/favours/comment-page-1/#comment-121 Amy Thu, 16 Jul 2009 19:29:00 +0000 http://synapses.co.za/?p=176#comment-121 Ohhhh, I see what you're saying, and I think I agree with you (on most parts). It's just that when you with-hold the truth, it becomes a burden on your conscience (which is a disutility). Also, if (despite your efforts at covering up) your partner still manages to unearth the truth, you would then be in a worse off position because now you have infidelity *and* lying against your name. Some people might then be enticed to tell the truth (even if it leaves them in a bad position) because they want to avoid the not-so-slight possibility that keeping the truth will lead them to an even worse position. Did that make sense? Ohhhh, I see what you’re saying, and I think I agree with you (on most parts). It’s just that when you with-hold the truth, it becomes a burden on your conscience (which is a disutility). Also, if (despite your efforts at covering up) your partner still manages to unearth the truth, you would then be in a worse off position because now you have infidelity *and* lying against your name. Some people might then be enticed to tell the truth (even if it leaves them in a bad position) because they want to avoid the not-so-slight possibility that keeping the truth will lead them to an even worse position. Did that make sense?

]]> By: Jacqueshttp://synapses.co.za/favours/comment-page-1/#comment-118 Jacques Sat, 11 Jul 2009 13:17:45 +0000 http://synapses.co.za/?p=176#comment-118 Perhaps my view is somewhat idealistic, in that I'm appealing to what people <i>should</i> want, rather than what they in fact <i>do</i> want. So while I agree with you entirely that some people want to know the absolute truth (or remain ignorant, as the case may be), the question posed here is whether whichever position they pick is in fact in their best interests, or the position they would choose if they were able to be perfectly rational about their choices. Perhaps my view is somewhat idealistic, in that I’m appealing to what people should want, rather than what they in fact do want. So while I agree with you entirely that some people want to know the absolute truth (or remain ignorant, as the case may be), the question posed here is whether whichever position they pick is in fact in their best interests, or the position they would choose if they were able to be perfectly rational about their choices.

]]> By: Amyhttp://synapses.co.za/favours/comment-page-1/#comment-117 Amy Sat, 11 Jul 2009 13:11:00 +0000 http://synapses.co.za/?p=176#comment-117 I think it also depends on what the other party wants. Some people want to know the absolute truth regardless of the circumstances or the consequences that might ensue. Others prefer to live in an ignorant bliss. So if the offender has made a mistake in passing, and his wife is insistent on knowing the truth at all times, then the offender should tell his wife, even if he believes the truth should be hidden. I think it also depends on what the other party wants. Some people want to know the absolute truth regardless of the circumstances or the consequences that might ensue. Others prefer to live in an ignorant bliss. So if the offender has made a mistake in passing, and his wife is insistent on knowing the truth at all times, then the offender should tell his wife, even if he believes the truth should be hidden.

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