But if it helps at all: even during my brief time in this country, I have seen this same scenario played out time and time again. And I rapidly came to the conclusion that it is not my fault, just as it isn’t your fault; it is the psychological carry-over from the previous regime and all that goes with it.

I want to be addressed by my first name, not as “Boss” or “Master”. I found myself feeling very uncomfortable in these situations and have now made it clear (and continue to make it clear) to those who work for and with me that we must have an open, honest, straightforward Employer/Employee relationship.
Ironically, you trust these people with your most valued possessions: your home and (in my case) your kids. Why would you not trust them when something like this arises?

Sadly, I think the only way to avoid this awkwardness is to actually emphasise the kind of relationship you want with Thelma: what you expect from her and what she should expect from you. And even then, it’s a often a change of mindset, a new set of values to adopt – and often with the fear of losing a valuable job.

Apartheid will always have a hell of a lot to answer for.